As November approached, I said to myself, Self! You'll be home with lots of time, looking for things to do. What a good opportunity to actually commit to National Blog Posting Month, known to those in the know as NaBloPoMo. It's pretty simple: you post to your blog every day. Much easier than NaNoWriMo, wherein you must write a novel in a month. Heck, the posts don't have to be long, or interesting, or even words. A lovely way to get into the habit of posting more. Good on you! Ah, but in reality? Not so much. In fact, not even one post. And now it's December.
But! I had a baby, so that's cool. And now I'm doing all the things you do with a baby, to wit: gazing in wonder, whipping out the boob, talking in ways I swore I never would, singing nonsense songs, occasionally freaking out at the responsibility I have for this tiny being, leaking milk, not sleeping enough, taking pictures, agonizing over our ridiculous consumer society, wondering what he's going to be like in 10 or 20 years, snuggling.
It's pretty great.
So hopefully I will actually start posting more, and not always about the baby. Rock on.
12.08.2009
10.29.2009
The Government Ate My Baby
After initial unconcern, then schools closing because the outbreak of swine flu was so bad, my doctor wants me to get the vaccine, and finally got some in, after weeks of not knowing when/if she would. This is good, yes? But we live in a place where people routinely do not vaccinate their children (something like 12 times the national average for exemption requests at school - which, among other things, led to a recent outbreak of whooping cough. Whooping cough! Pertussis! Who knew it even still existed, outside of Victorian novels? Cheese and Rice. [that's how fearful Mormons avoid using the lord's name in vain - say it out loud, you'll see]) and therefore have been sending around all kinds of info about how the vaccine is going to damage my unborn child. (who the doctors think is most at risk if he actually gets the flu, which is not unlikely these days) Except. Except!
They are spouting incorrect information. (specifically in this case about certain ingredients that are not actually in the H1N1 vaccine) And it really irritates me. And the internet doesn't help, with all the crazies out there going on about how bad for you things are, and how untested, and so forth. The problem is that they aren't always wrong, but it's sort of boy-who-cried-wolf, and then it's hard to know what to actually trust, but my gut does not point me in the direction of the people who write IN ALL CAPS and clearly have a limited understanding of the English language and an attachment to government conspiracy.
I'm getting the vaccine today. So there. Just needed to vent a bit.
They are spouting incorrect information. (specifically in this case about certain ingredients that are not actually in the H1N1 vaccine) And it really irritates me. And the internet doesn't help, with all the crazies out there going on about how bad for you things are, and how untested, and so forth. The problem is that they aren't always wrong, but it's sort of boy-who-cried-wolf, and then it's hard to know what to actually trust, but my gut does not point me in the direction of the people who write IN ALL CAPS and clearly have a limited understanding of the English language and an attachment to government conspiracy.
I'm getting the vaccine today. So there. Just needed to vent a bit.
10.25.2009
My Uterus Ripens
There's just something about that expression that tickles me. As I've reached the "any day now, or else another few weeks" point of pregnancy, I decided to actually flip through some of the books on birthing that have been filling up a shelf, given to us and ignored for all these months. Having done so, I concluded that it would have been fine not to look at them, for the most part. Got some amusement out of visualizing strawberry mists to float on (don't really think that's going to happen, but you never know). Can't even remember the other funny bits. But I will say that - as common wisdom around here goes - Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is the one to read, if you're going to read one. She's got a good attitude, lots of experience, a nice combination of common sense, humor, appreciation for modern medicine, and trust in a woman's body. She talks about how men would brag if they had a body part that could do what our girly bits do, and I have these great images of men shooting pool, drinking beer, and claiming "Mine dilated to 13 centimeters, dude!"
That idea - that our bodies are built for this and know what to do - is the most helpful birth prep for me. It's something I can believe in and hang on to and has moved me beyond the "very small hole" anxiety of the early days. Heck, I'm even aiming for orgasmic! If I can't have dolphins, I can at least hope for that.
On another note entirely, Glee may be my new favorite show. It has some unnecessary side plots (the wife with the fake pregnancy) but on the whole is pretty damn entertaining. Except I got that irritating Beyonce song stuck in my head after the last episode I saw (we're watching them online, and therefore are behind a few weeks). I can't quite put my finger on why I dislike it so much, but something just doesn't work for me about that whole "If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it" bit. I'm sure some clever feminist has a well-articulated argument about possession and objectification and all that jazz, so I'll just get on her bandwagon, wherever she is. You go, girl!
This whole television-on-the-internet thing has totally ruined my self-righteousness about not having a TV. And I missed World Poetry Day, and meant to post some choice rhymes. Even if they didn't actually rhyme. Another time.
Ok, back to the daily lounging about and feeling uncomfortable. :)
That idea - that our bodies are built for this and know what to do - is the most helpful birth prep for me. It's something I can believe in and hang on to and has moved me beyond the "very small hole" anxiety of the early days. Heck, I'm even aiming for orgasmic! If I can't have dolphins, I can at least hope for that.
On another note entirely, Glee may be my new favorite show. It has some unnecessary side plots (the wife with the fake pregnancy) but on the whole is pretty damn entertaining. Except I got that irritating Beyonce song stuck in my head after the last episode I saw (we're watching them online, and therefore are behind a few weeks). I can't quite put my finger on why I dislike it so much, but something just doesn't work for me about that whole "If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it" bit. I'm sure some clever feminist has a well-articulated argument about possession and objectification and all that jazz, so I'll just get on her bandwagon, wherever she is. You go, girl!
This whole television-on-the-internet thing has totally ruined my self-righteousness about not having a TV. And I missed World Poetry Day, and meant to post some choice rhymes. Even if they didn't actually rhyme. Another time.
Ok, back to the daily lounging about and feeling uncomfortable. :)
10.05.2009
Gay Pride March Of The Penguins
A side effect of not teaching this semester is that I just missed Banned Books Week, the ALA's celebration of the freedom to read. It was last week, and when I'm in class, I always do something about it with the kids. We look at lists of books that have been challenged or banned and discuss why and read some of them and talk about what they think is appropriate or not, and so on. It's pretty great.
While I'm not advocating reading Stephen King's _It_ to your five-year-old (though I read it probably far too young, in fifth grade, and had nightmares and called it one of my favorite books for years afterwards), or the Penthouse Forum to your grade-schooler (they'll discover it soon enough on their own anyway), I'm pretty strongly against the kind of censorship that book banning is all about. Especially when it's led by the religious nutjobs who think they should be the moral arbiters of our society.
Case in point: The most frequently challenged book in 2008 was _And Tango Makes Three_, a children's book based on a true story about two male penguins in the Central Park Zoo who hatched an egg and raised a baby. It's totally adorable. It won all kinds of best book awards. It is not going to make your child - who will love this story, because penguins! Yay! - grow up any gayer than they otherwise would.
Other than the ridiculous challenges to kids' books (Bridge to Terabithia, The Giver, Goosebumps, In The Night Kitchen, Where's Waldo, Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret, to name a very few), the ones that really irritate me are the challenges to the "classics" (including Catcher in The Rye, To Kill a Mockingbird, Catch-22, Lord of the Flies, Gone With The Wind, Fahrenheit 451, 1984, Of Mice and Men, etc). For one reason or another, these books are considered some of the very best written - you can argue with the literary merits if you like, but to ban them? Why don't we want to raise a generation that thinks, that grapples with issues they may not agree with, that takes on the complications of being human?
So go out and read a banned book, and tell people all about it. Score one for the Queer Penguin Alliance!
While I'm not advocating reading Stephen King's _It_ to your five-year-old (though I read it probably far too young, in fifth grade, and had nightmares and called it one of my favorite books for years afterwards), or the Penthouse Forum to your grade-schooler (they'll discover it soon enough on their own anyway), I'm pretty strongly against the kind of censorship that book banning is all about. Especially when it's led by the religious nutjobs who think they should be the moral arbiters of our society.
Case in point: The most frequently challenged book in 2008 was _And Tango Makes Three_, a children's book based on a true story about two male penguins in the Central Park Zoo who hatched an egg and raised a baby. It's totally adorable. It won all kinds of best book awards. It is not going to make your child - who will love this story, because penguins! Yay! - grow up any gayer than they otherwise would.
Other than the ridiculous challenges to kids' books (Bridge to Terabithia, The Giver, Goosebumps, In The Night Kitchen, Where's Waldo, Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret, to name a very few), the ones that really irritate me are the challenges to the "classics" (including Catcher in The Rye, To Kill a Mockingbird, Catch-22, Lord of the Flies, Gone With The Wind, Fahrenheit 451, 1984, Of Mice and Men, etc). For one reason or another, these books are considered some of the very best written - you can argue with the literary merits if you like, but to ban them? Why don't we want to raise a generation that thinks, that grapples with issues they may not agree with, that takes on the complications of being human?
So go out and read a banned book, and tell people all about it. Score one for the Queer Penguin Alliance!
9.23.2009
I [blank], Therefore I Am
Descartes was sitting in a cafe one afternoon, enjoying a croissant and people-watching. A waiter came over and asked him if he'd like anything else; he replied, "I think not," and disappeared.
I'm having a bit of existential angst these days, as the school year is rolling and I'm sitting at home, growing a baby. Lots of time for reflection, amidst the sleeping and eating.* I've realized that teaching isn't just what I do, but it's part of who I am, and though I can't imagine being that veteran teacher who's been at the same school for 30 years, I also can't imagine not teaching at all. I read the paper and want to cut out an article to bring to class. I learn a fun fact and want to tell the kids. I hear a joke and think of them. And - it's really nice not to have to do the work right now.
We go to dinner parties and meet new people and ask, "What do you do?" but we mean, "Who are you?" I know there's a degree of luxury in those things overlapping, and that for many (most?) people a job is just a job, a way to make a living so that they can get on with who they really are. Johnny Paycheck sings their tune ("Take This Job and Shove It"). But most folks I hang out with are lucky enough to do something they want to do, and find fulfilling. So now that there's this empty space where that used to be, I'm floundering a bit.
I know that in 6 weeks or so, I'll be glad for the time off, and it will be hard to go back. In some ways, this is a good crossroads for thinking about change: is there something else I want to do? Are there things I've given up on, branches on the alternate timeline of my life that I could climb out on now? Well, it's too late to be a ballerina, but maybe this is the perfect time to start writing for real. Or...I don't know - but it does sort of seem like an opportunity. I teach, I am a teacher, and I love it (and it's not perfect, of course), but I don't want to get stuck doing something just because it's what I've always done.
I feel like I should break out into an Andrew Lloyd Webber song, a not-quite-operatic baring of my soul that will somehow resolve all my problems with a long-held high note. (heh - I spelled his name wrong at first, as Weber - the legendary creator of the Phantom of the BBQ, Jesus Christ SuperGrill... George Foreman ain't got nothin' on him!) This kind of brushes the edge of that whole "just a mom" issue. Except I'm not even a mom yet. I'm just...at home. With lots of time that I know I should savor because soon my life will change dramatically and I'll look back on these days fondly blah blah blah. Or I should be frantically sewing baby blankets and researching breast pumps.
I've been thinking about this a lot and I'm not really sure I captured what I wanted to say, or even really know what I want to say about it, but I wanted to put something out there. Now that it's down, I can go back to contemplating my navel and working on filling in the blank. Or, you know, take the dog out, pick some veggies from the garden, and enjoy the afternoon.
*my life these days is nicely summed up by a poster in the children's bookstore downtown: Snack. Nap. Read.
I'm having a bit of existential angst these days, as the school year is rolling and I'm sitting at home, growing a baby. Lots of time for reflection, amidst the sleeping and eating.* I've realized that teaching isn't just what I do, but it's part of who I am, and though I can't imagine being that veteran teacher who's been at the same school for 30 years, I also can't imagine not teaching at all. I read the paper and want to cut out an article to bring to class. I learn a fun fact and want to tell the kids. I hear a joke and think of them. And - it's really nice not to have to do the work right now.
We go to dinner parties and meet new people and ask, "What do you do?" but we mean, "Who are you?" I know there's a degree of luxury in those things overlapping, and that for many (most?) people a job is just a job, a way to make a living so that they can get on with who they really are. Johnny Paycheck sings their tune ("Take This Job and Shove It"). But most folks I hang out with are lucky enough to do something they want to do, and find fulfilling. So now that there's this empty space where that used to be, I'm floundering a bit.
I know that in 6 weeks or so, I'll be glad for the time off, and it will be hard to go back. In some ways, this is a good crossroads for thinking about change: is there something else I want to do? Are there things I've given up on, branches on the alternate timeline of my life that I could climb out on now? Well, it's too late to be a ballerina, but maybe this is the perfect time to start writing for real. Or...I don't know - but it does sort of seem like an opportunity. I teach, I am a teacher, and I love it (and it's not perfect, of course), but I don't want to get stuck doing something just because it's what I've always done.
I feel like I should break out into an Andrew Lloyd Webber song, a not-quite-operatic baring of my soul that will somehow resolve all my problems with a long-held high note. (heh - I spelled his name wrong at first, as Weber - the legendary creator of the Phantom of the BBQ, Jesus Christ SuperGrill... George Foreman ain't got nothin' on him!) This kind of brushes the edge of that whole "just a mom" issue. Except I'm not even a mom yet. I'm just...at home. With lots of time that I know I should savor because soon my life will change dramatically and I'll look back on these days fondly blah blah blah. Or I should be frantically sewing baby blankets and researching breast pumps.
I've been thinking about this a lot and I'm not really sure I captured what I wanted to say, or even really know what I want to say about it, but I wanted to put something out there. Now that it's down, I can go back to contemplating my navel and working on filling in the blank. Or, you know, take the dog out, pick some veggies from the garden, and enjoy the afternoon.
*my life these days is nicely summed up by a poster in the children's bookstore downtown: Snack. Nap. Read.
9.19.2009
Sartorial Determinism
So I've finally started tackling the baby stuff that has been showing up on our doorstep and getting tossed unceremoniously into our loft to be ignored over the last several months. We certainly appreciate all the hand-me-downs, but weren't quite ready to face them. Now...well, it's becoming more and more real that a couple months from now the squirming critter will be on the outside, my spleen will be once more unmolested, and we better get organized! At least a little bit.
But really? This is what people think we want our baby to wear? Actually, there's plenty of neutral or neutral-enough stuff in the mix, plain colors and stripes and vaguely cartoonish ducks. But I don't think I can put my kid in a McBaby onesie - oh yes, the Ronald has moved beyond special sauce, working on subliminally turning the next generation into a loyal consumer. He's not alone - Disney and Looney Tunes and every other registered TM seems to make an appearance. And even if we avoid the blatant brand whoring, he's going to be imprinted with baseballs and trucks and all things blue, because he's a boy! and that's the American way.
Let's not even get into "made in China" here. At least this stuff is being reused. There's nothing like having a baby to set up a wrestling match with your principles. Is it organic? Local? Sustainably made? Free of negative cultural messages? Or toxic chemicals? Although it really seems like the primary question for the people that make this stuff is: Is it cute?!
(it's like those awful motel comforters and wallpaper - it's hard to believe somebody was actually paid to come up with those designs)(because if it doesn't say "baby" on the front, people won't be sure that's what it is?)(though I admit to slightly melting over a couple of the fuzzier outfits)
Apparently I'm not any better with baby clothes than I am with my own. I don't have that mysterious feminine shopping gene. I have a somewhat embarrassing pile of stuff that I can't even identify. But one thing I know for sure: I do not need a giant pumpkin costume for my kid.
But really? This is what people think we want our baby to wear? Actually, there's plenty of neutral or neutral-enough stuff in the mix, plain colors and stripes and vaguely cartoonish ducks. But I don't think I can put my kid in a McBaby onesie - oh yes, the Ronald has moved beyond special sauce, working on subliminally turning the next generation into a loyal consumer. He's not alone - Disney and Looney Tunes and every other registered TM seems to make an appearance. And even if we avoid the blatant brand whoring, he's going to be imprinted with baseballs and trucks and all things blue, because he's a boy! and that's the American way.
Let's not even get into "made in China" here. At least this stuff is being reused. There's nothing like having a baby to set up a wrestling match with your principles. Is it organic? Local? Sustainably made? Free of negative cultural messages? Or toxic chemicals? Although it really seems like the primary question for the people that make this stuff is: Is it cute?!
(it's like those awful motel comforters and wallpaper - it's hard to believe somebody was actually paid to come up with those designs)(because if it doesn't say "baby" on the front, people won't be sure that's what it is?)(though I admit to slightly melting over a couple of the fuzzier outfits)
Apparently I'm not any better with baby clothes than I am with my own. I don't have that mysterious feminine shopping gene. I have a somewhat embarrassing pile of stuff that I can't even identify. But one thing I know for sure: I do not need a giant pumpkin costume for my kid.
8.28.2009
To Snip Or Not To Snip
Hamlet didn't have his priorities straight. Then again, he wasn't expecting a baby boy, and probably the question of circumcision wouldn't have come up for him anyway. I guess I'm making some assumptions about 16th century Europe. Except for Shylock, of course, but then we'd be mixing our Shakespearean metaphors. All of which is entirely beside the point.
There was a time when this decision would have been made for us, and probably still would be in many places, but instead, it's a choice we have to make. My initial instincts are to say yes, snip it off, because that's the cultural norm I grew up with. Every penis I've had the pleasure to know has been snipped. (was that too much information?) It's been true enough of even casual acquaintances (skinny dipping and so on) that I've noticed the few turtlenecks in the crowd as standing out. But that's starting to shift - in fact, I'd say most of the little boys running around our current neighborhood, who do often run around naked, are not snipped. I'm less sure about the adults, though not at all shy about asking. So now we actually have to think about it.
The problem is that even a dip into internet research reveals people on both sides who are totally nuts, and totally convinced you are going to RUIN YOUR CHILD FOREVER if you make the wrong choice. It's a bit harder to find actual rational info on this. When I talk to people I know about their choices, it's not much more useful - they're not crazy dogmatic about it, for the most part, but don't really add anything helpful to either side. Yes, there's potential that it can reduce the risk of disease, but if you teach the kid to wash well, it's not such a problem. Yes, it's potentially unnecessary surgery, but with fairly low risk. Nobody really knows about sexual sensitivity - although one guy pointed out that he could not have handled any more of that in his teenage years! Some folks say leave it alone and let the kid decide - but how many boys or men do you know that would actually choose to let someone near them with a sharp knife? I'm not even going to get into the arguments about birth trauma and related issues from suppressed painful experiences as a newborn.
Turns out this is quite a hot-button topic, though. One interesting angle I hadn't considered until I recently read a few articles/posts/etc. related circumcision to Gardasil and our double standards for boys and girls when it comes to sex. Apparently the CDC is considering recommending circumcision as an HIV preventative. When Gardasil appeared on the scene, a vaccine for girls that helps prevent HPV (which can cause cervical cancer) the moral majority came out in force against it, claiming it would encourage promiscuity. Not once have I come across that argument about boys and le snip. There's not an exact parallel here, but it whiffs of the old slut/stud dichotomy.
Also related: for those who don't want wrinkles, there's a new injection out there for you made of baby foreskins! You can fill in your own jokes on this one.
Speaking of foreskin jokes (because really, what better topic is there? there's that one about the rabbi and the wallet that becomes a suitcase...) - I'm reminded of an old SNL fake ad for a fancy car that showed how smooth the ride was by having a mohel perform a circumcision in the back seat while driving over a bumpy road. And this is why I love the internet - I just took a detour and found the clip on hulu, which I'd link to if I knew how, but if you search for SNL fake ad royal deluxe circumcision - you, too, can enjoy that fine viewing experience.
All of which is to say, I'm still kind of where I was to start: let's do it, because it's what we know, and it looks funny otherwise. I'm helped along by a friend who shared Dan Savage's take on the matter: "Cut cock tastes better." Words of wisdom, y'all.
There was a time when this decision would have been made for us, and probably still would be in many places, but instead, it's a choice we have to make. My initial instincts are to say yes, snip it off, because that's the cultural norm I grew up with. Every penis I've had the pleasure to know has been snipped. (was that too much information?) It's been true enough of even casual acquaintances (skinny dipping and so on) that I've noticed the few turtlenecks in the crowd as standing out. But that's starting to shift - in fact, I'd say most of the little boys running around our current neighborhood, who do often run around naked, are not snipped. I'm less sure about the adults, though not at all shy about asking. So now we actually have to think about it.
The problem is that even a dip into internet research reveals people on both sides who are totally nuts, and totally convinced you are going to RUIN YOUR CHILD FOREVER if you make the wrong choice. It's a bit harder to find actual rational info on this. When I talk to people I know about their choices, it's not much more useful - they're not crazy dogmatic about it, for the most part, but don't really add anything helpful to either side. Yes, there's potential that it can reduce the risk of disease, but if you teach the kid to wash well, it's not such a problem. Yes, it's potentially unnecessary surgery, but with fairly low risk. Nobody really knows about sexual sensitivity - although one guy pointed out that he could not have handled any more of that in his teenage years! Some folks say leave it alone and let the kid decide - but how many boys or men do you know that would actually choose to let someone near them with a sharp knife? I'm not even going to get into the arguments about birth trauma and related issues from suppressed painful experiences as a newborn.
Turns out this is quite a hot-button topic, though. One interesting angle I hadn't considered until I recently read a few articles/posts/etc. related circumcision to Gardasil and our double standards for boys and girls when it comes to sex. Apparently the CDC is considering recommending circumcision as an HIV preventative. When Gardasil appeared on the scene, a vaccine for girls that helps prevent HPV (which can cause cervical cancer) the moral majority came out in force against it, claiming it would encourage promiscuity. Not once have I come across that argument about boys and le snip. There's not an exact parallel here, but it whiffs of the old slut/stud dichotomy.
Also related: for those who don't want wrinkles, there's a new injection out there for you made of baby foreskins! You can fill in your own jokes on this one.
Speaking of foreskin jokes (because really, what better topic is there? there's that one about the rabbi and the wallet that becomes a suitcase...) - I'm reminded of an old SNL fake ad for a fancy car that showed how smooth the ride was by having a mohel perform a circumcision in the back seat while driving over a bumpy road. And this is why I love the internet - I just took a detour and found the clip on hulu, which I'd link to if I knew how, but if you search for SNL fake ad royal deluxe circumcision - you, too, can enjoy that fine viewing experience.
All of which is to say, I'm still kind of where I was to start: let's do it, because it's what we know, and it looks funny otherwise. I'm helped along by a friend who shared Dan Savage's take on the matter: "Cut cock tastes better." Words of wisdom, y'all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
